It’s easy to get caught up in a new romance and just allow ourselves to bask in love’s glow without stopping to really figure out if we should trust our new love. Too often we allow ourselves to be blinded by the constant onslaught of positive qualities our new flame has before we have a chance to see their darker side. It’s only natural really, when you like someone you work harder to show your good side in order to get them to like you. But first impressions aren’t always what they seem and it can take time before a person will reveal their true colors to you. Different situations like traveling or a party may reveal questionable personality traits you hadn’t realized were there. At first, everyone likes to brush off the little things and try to them themselves they can deal with a few oddities for the sake of love. But be careful that you’re not ignoring signs of a much bigger problem when things inevitably don’t work out.
It is always you who compromises, and never your partner.
If you find yourself genuinely feeling like the constant piece keeper in your relationship take a step back and really focus on your spouse for a few days. Test them and count your interactions together. Do they ever try to see things your way or give your wants and needs thought and consideration? Or is everything always about them? Many people have a skill of turning around any conversation and it can be difficult to say anything at all that isn’t turned back on you and used against you. If you find you are truly always the one making sacrifices to keep your partner happy and not the other way around that’s a huge warning your life isn’t about to get easier with this person in your life.
Your partner is overly jealous of everyone else in your life, including your cat.
At first, this may seem cute, but over time it can be a real downer and cause a lot of tension in your relationship. It signifies a lack of trust your partner has in you, and also their own insecurities which left unchecked will destroy you both. It’s important to address any issues of jealousy immediately and firmly enforce a no tolerance policy towards jealousy. If your partner cannot admit to and attempt to overcome their jealous nature it would be best to part ways sooner rather than later.
Anyone who is too clingy or afraid to spend time alone.
Being smothered gets old fast in a relationship, and it’s important that you and your partner can have time with and without each other. It’s healthy to have hobbies that the other is not part of, even if you want to spend a lot time together. It’s not for a lack of love, but of a desire to remain your own person so that neither of you is absorbed and solely focused on your relationship. It’s better for you both to be your own people and bring more to your time and life together.
Uncontrollable rage or outbursts.
Have you ever felt unsafe or confused about why your partner couldn’t let something go? Do they seem to be angry often? Does their anger escalate rapidly in ways you often have no control over and in fact only seem to make worse? These are just a few signs of an anger management problem and can be difficult and dangerous to address with the individual in question. It’s best to seek help from family and friends or professionals about how to help someone with these afflictions.
Apathy or lack of desire to do anything with their life.
People won’t change for you. Don’t go into a relationship telling yourself you will change someone’s personality for their sake. It’s for your sake too, and in the end usually results in a lot of accusations for your troubles. Best to find someone already motivated and invested in life to be with. If you find yourself having trouble with any of these qualities in your partner, it’s best to take a close look at your relationship together and question if it’s really worth the trouble or if it will even last.